I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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