I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize