Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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