My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
