You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
