Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
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Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
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I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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