He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Shame is for Republicans.
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