So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize