Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
