why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
