Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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