That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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