It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
