I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he was CRYING into my vagina
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I got inside last night via doggy door
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
