Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
where are my eyebrows?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
