Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
