IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
