Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
