He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i think my cat just said my name.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
