You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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