Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
