Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
