i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
