Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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