while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
