Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
