Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Fuck appropriateness.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
