i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
