Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They took my balls.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
