She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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