i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize