Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
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Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Less talking, more tequila
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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