He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
