How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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