I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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