There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
