ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
