He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
