Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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