ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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