dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
