College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
