worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Randomize
