What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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