How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
