addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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