I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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