Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
