i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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