just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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