I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
