what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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