Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
