You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
