the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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