my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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