I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
