I should be sponsored by Trojan
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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